Folgers Crystals: Past to Present – Nostalgia

Foxtrot Uniform – Nostalgia research

Whiskey Charlie / Romeo – 1988 / 7-11

(Abstract) The best part….https://www.facebook.com/folgers/

(Introduction) Been awhile for me, so I thought I would KISS (keep it simple stupid) this with coffee (ish). While I love to research relevant factoids, I did not look at data on Folgers, how it is sourced, pummeled into crystal form, or the like. Rather, my thoughts came as a nostalgic moment this morning.

 ‘boost’ in antioxidant + caffeination presence = Kevin can be a morning person.

(Related work) Due to the pandemic of the recent past, present, and as yet to be determined – future, a few new recipes found new items in our pantry. We are coffee drinkers…we have the cups to prove it. As with many others, we have our preferences as to brand, but it is most certainly about overall flavor.  A product that had been forgotten since my childhood of the Great Depression is depicted as above, and found our pantry as a recipe for ‘whipped coffee’….unsure of the true name, and this may very well be it if one were inclined to want to navigate one’s self across the IoT. Alas, I do not. The drink used several measuring cups to concoct the precise standard for each element. What does that mean to me? More dishes to wash. Suffice to say, that instant coffee and a form or variation of cow-relative products were used to achieve the success of this fanciful elixir.

(Overview) My research does provide that Folgers uses real berries to produce real brewed coffee. The brewed coffee is magically dehydrated to produce the instant, legalized crystals. When liquid is added to the new spray- or freeze-dried coffee, the crystals render a previously brewed cup of new-to-me coffee…ish. My research on dishes was recognized as expected in the whipped coffee experiment. Inasmuch as the new drink is fun to consume, it is not fun to clean up its remnants. In this case that equates to accrued measuring devices and cups, but to an occasional wall and cupboard. The marketeer must not have considered the complete demographical analysis when suggesting this ‘one-off’ beverage.

(Body) Additional research on Folgers would likely take you to television commercials of the Folgers’ slogan of the 70’s, which amassed sales when it introduced its ‘instant coffee.’ My ignorance of a Folgers presence at the local grocery was presumptuous of me. How elated I was when I had to bend over to a squat to find it on the bottom shelf. A sign of ‘the times,’ or an inability to connect with the present? Let me know. Regardless, getting bent over to make this seemingly obscure find does imply the felicitous use of the double entendre. Have you seen the price of this stuff? Outrageous. Absurd. How dare they increase their price by 458.101% over the course of the last 45 years. Brazenly barbaric of them. When I awoke from falling out two things were made self-evident: Clean up on aisle 8 and or 9, as well as front thoroughfare were necessary (whether in normal or COVID times), and Folgers was in my cart for purchase. A historical cost-analysis of Folgers was not performed. However, I was oft with my mom when Folgers was purchased, and can convey with 100% certainty, that mom was like a contestant on the Price Is Right, when she found Folgers on sale for $1.79 in lieu of its typical $2.79. To my chagrin, I was duped when I saw it at $9.99 (present dayish). Sidebar: How the human mind works and the biases it creates. I found myself tempted to purchase two jars of Folgers, when I noted the price to be $7.99 in lieu of the non-sale price. Nay says I. I will not fall for the banana in that tailpipe.

(Discussion) Time for a quick word (or several)

My truth: Every family has one…if they do not, they are not a real family…or they likely know of families who do = CC (Chronographically Challenged).

Though the first is Denzel’s monumental debut in a ‘feature film,’ Carbon Copy is not CC, in this case.

The use of CC here is not the same as many still use it in the email or as actual carbon film/paper….clarification provided is sometimes necessary to ensure accurate context of conversation.

Dehydration of the berry = Excitation, invigoration, and micturition.

Does the smell of fresh-brewed coffee, speak to your olfactory and awaken you? If you are at a local coffee shop when this happens, consider that you might need counseling. If you are in your residence, enjoy the ease at which you can arise from thy bed and walk…to the kitchen. I can pretty much guarantee that getting out of bed is easier than shooting upright from the confines of your local grocery aisle…amidst your own mist. Mayhaps. So how does CC + Folgers = Nostalgia?

Oui. Oui. = French, for urine….

CC in my growing up years, was my dad. You could set your clock to the amount of lateness that Arty Farty the One-Man-Party, would be. Mom waiting somewhat patiently, in the car with the three of us. Dad had to use the bathroom one last time before we left…for church….that started at 0915….we lived 20-30 minutes away from (pending rhythm of signal lights)….there was no freeway to….and it was 0900. Set a clock to it.

Past. Prior to my legal driving years, I was dependent on dad to get me to and fro. On such days, I found it beneficial that dad’s “coffee” was GTG (good to go). The duty (heehee) of making coffee for dad was a bestowment akin to that of a good OT Bible birthright. That’s correct…going old-testament. Ah yes…Cain and Abel, Esau and Jacob. Good stuff. One of dad’s mottos was, “if a little is good, then more is better.” Enter, Folgers Crystals. Upon his ‘go-ahead,’ and not one minute before, I was allowed to microwave water to the point of seeing bubble form at the top. We call those bubbles or boiling point. Whilst reaching up to the counter and inside this magical box of cooking sorcery – that people were not supposed to stand in front of, nor stare into with face pressed on glass….thus I did both – for the scalding cup and water, then and only then was I to add Folgers to the cup. How much? If a little is good….Folgers suggests a teaspoon. My dad viewed that as a regular-sized spoon from the table. He also viewed said spoon to be heaping instead of level….and potentially, with variable, a couple, few, or several. I was never told ahead of time which was the necessary amount to be allotted for the given day; however, the intuitive me figured it out on my own.

Present. I awaken. I forgot to set the coffee up last night. I am left with the internal debate of setting up the coffee pot for just me or me + 2. Will the sounds of it awaken others, or would I benefit from just making a little espresso? Hmmm. The beep that identifies coffee as being ‘ready,’ is actually multiple and loud. The grinder on the espresso machine is….well….grindy. Duh. It is a duller sound and not attuned as easily by the +2. Easy to clean up and will provide the necessary caffeine component I need to start my 584738349 day of COVID awareness. Settled then.

Well….crabapples. I want a little more than two ounces of daytime ‘rot gut.’ It was as if an angel tapped me in my presumed, tumor-free gourd. I was inclined to turn around, bright eyes….and be….bushy-tailed. To my dismay and potential demise, I recognized the outcast bottle. Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I noted Folgers Noir, instant coffee. There was not more than the recommended serving, in the bottle. A tantamount at best. I am doing it. For this olde-timey moment, I found it necessary to locate the correct cup. For the experiment in question, the cup needs to meet or exceed certain safety values. As such, it can only be of a certain height to fit under the glorious espresso creme, double-pour apparatus. It must also be able to withstand the wrath of micro waves that could leave a mug imprint on my hand if improperly utilized for said microwave.

As the ‘range‘ is located at my eye level, I have made it this far on nostalgia….whatever shall I do? Yep. pressed head against glass. BTW the turntable is a nice edition to its predecessors. No. I did not let the range allow for its echoey ‘beep.’ I also used the magic rag to clean my forehead imprint off of the glass door and buttons to ensure my wife never knew I was there.

I was let down by the Folgers Noir entrance to my 4 ounces of boiling H’s and O’s. Back in the day, I recall how the Folgers would fizz when entering the water. FF….espresso and Folgers combo, add a scant amount of Stevia and a little 1/2 cow juice mixed with another half of halved cow juice. Presto. As I type this sentence, I am still feeling the effects of my experiment. In numerous ways.

Everything olde should not taste old. Likewise, everything olde cannot be made new again.

(Conclusion) The tie-in of past to present, was made possible through the time-travel capabilities of Folgers. What has been far too many minutes for you, remains as a pleasant, series of moments for my day. Good memories of my growing up family, despite being oft tardy for church-going.

In case you have not figured it out, I am back in research mode. Any upcoming moments will likely be brought to your reading=sleeping eyes, in this format. Thus empowering the viewer to digest as little or as much as they desire. I would also suggest that I am in process of going back to school for my masters, and this format helps that part of my necrotizing brain function in both capacity and context.

For those who question the parenthetical titles, pose your queries to the APA. It is at their collective level, that I follow this format.

(Future work) I can suggest that unlike typical research where future work discusses what else should be looked at, analyzed, discussed, rinse and repeat, this particular research project resulted in a proved theory and is on this day: truth = reliable + valid.

The past toyed with my mind and I am left feeling my thoughts. Conversely, thoughts lead to feelings. When we think of nostalgic moments, we are typically discussing the feeling of moments in our lives that our brought to us through positive thoughts.

In the past work, my research was cause and effect. Using my dad’s “if a little is good…,” in conjunction with given quantities of semi-solid and liquid combinations, I tested whether or not the amount of Folgers could positively influence his general demeanor. My work then was conclusive as now, save one thing: a bit of nostalgia. Back then I would increase the scoop size and serving of Folgers to cup of hot water. Conversely, I would heat up the water with the Folgers already in it, then add more if it did not smell enough like coffee. In some ways my coffee experiment resulted in a similar outcome as to that of playing with fire. Today was different.

Current research and my own tastebuds as the guinea pig, my experiment with Folgers proved less than the flavor I desired; however, the kick necessary to obtain a certain focus and clarity of subject matter. The overall results yielded a positive outcome of the overall experiment. Nostalgic moment achieved. Perhaps future work should include other positive thoughts leading to positive feelings, and thus positive feelings leading to the potential of overall positivity. My head hurts.

I wonder if there’s more coffee. Thank you to Folgers.